In 1519 the Spanish conqueror Hernando Cortez landed near San Juan, Mexico. Cortez had a dream of claiming this new land for Spain, but before he could do so he had to defeat the Aztec natives. Because Cortez’ men didn’t share his dream, they planned a mutiny to escape. To keep them from jeopardizing his plans of conquering and settling Mexico the Spanish hero knew he had to do something radical, if he didn’t his mission would fail. What he did was very brave and unusual. He decided to burn his ships! You see Cortez knew human nature. He knew that when the going got rough, his sailors would get sailing. Can you imagine the disbelief on the faces of those Spaniards as they stood on the white sandy beach watching the flames engulf their passage back to their homes and families? These men must have suddenly become very committed to their task and very loyal to their leader. Their escape route was gone. Their back door suddenly slammed shut. Their only choice now was to fight; if they didn’t they would die!

All right, I know what you are thinking, “this is a nice history lesson but so what?” This lesson in history holds the key to divorce proofing your marriage.

In the movie about King Arthur called First Knight (Sean Connery and Richard Gere), the King makes an interesting comment to Lancelot. He said “I can’t slice you up into pieces, I have to love all of you or none of you.” He had great affection for Lancelot. The King knew Lancelot wasn’t perfect, but he loved him anyway.

More than ever before, I realize how powerful this concept is in marriage. Let’s say for example your wife is upset because her mom is coming in town this weekend unexpectedly. You wonder why this is upsetting because she loves her mom and this should be a nice surprise. But if you truly accept her for exactly who she is, you also accept her emotions. By accepting her completely, you may say “I understand that, she has to rearrange her entire weekend plans to accommodate her mom.”

Gay Talese wrote “It's true what they say – all the good men are married. But it's marriage that makes them good.”

This is absolutely true in my life. Any goodness I have in my life comes first from God making me more like his son and second from my wife Sara. We just had our 15^th wedding anniversary and I am afraid to think of what I would be like if I had never met her. I look back on pictures of myself from the first few years of marriage and shake my head. I was so young and had so much to learn. I still have a long way to go but I am a very different person than I was then.